How to Feel Great Even Though You've Gained Weight

I am currently struggling with something that I'm

sure more than a few of you can relate to: I
gained a bunch of weight over the holidays and
am trying my darnedest to get rid of it.

I don't even really know how it happened. It was
like I woke up one day and all of a sudden the
jeans I used to be able to wear so comfortably
became suffocating torture devices. I found
myself going head-to-head with the stubborn
zippers on my favorite dresses, the ones that
used to glide right up so easily. I'm taking all the
right steps—eating less, exercising more—but it's
been an agonizingly unfruitful process and the
pounds aren't melting away as quickly as they
implanted themselves.

This isn't going to be an article about how I lost
the weight or about my valiant efforts to get
back to where I was. I was inspired to write this
because I realized that this slight change on the
outside caused some major changes on the
inside. In the past month, I've barely been able
to recognize myself—and not just in the mirror.

All of a sudden I was insecure, introverted, and
riddled with self-doubt. I also became someone
who constantly berated herself, which was
disappointing because that is something I always
speak out against. I was traveling down a very
detrimental path, one that would have caused
the Sabrina who started A New Mode a year ago
to smack me right across the head, and justly
so: I let myself get caught up in the idea that my
weight meant everything.

So what happened exactly? I lost perspective and
veered off course. Now I'm back. And while I'm
still working to get myself back to where I was,
I've learned to accept where I am now and to
feel great, even though I've put on some weight.
I've also learned the following things that have
helped me shift my mindset.

1. No one notices it like you do.
First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge
the fact that you are, and always will be, your
harshest critic. No one is scrutinizing you but
YOU. When you look through photos, who is the
first person you look at? That's right, yourself.

Sure, a significant weight gain might be a little
noticeable, but chances are if you don't point it
out, no one else will even realize. And if they do,
it will appear so slight that they won't even know
why you think it matters. We all know this, yet
somehow we disregard this knowledge in favor of
the completely erroneous belief that all eyes are
on us. This may be true for celebrities, but it is
not the case at all for anyone else.

2. It doesn't make you any less attractive.
I truly believed that my weight gain rendered me
wholly undesirable and unattractive. However,
oddly enough, I think I've been getting hit on
even more these past few months! And not by
guys who just wanna get laid, but by genuine
guys who actually want to take me out and get
to know me.

At first I was perplexed beyond belief ( How can
he be interested in me? I am SO fat right now. ). I
haven't figured out if it's a coincidence or ties
directly to my more reserved demeanor and
conservative wardrobe (I've definitely been
covering up a lot more when I go out), but either
way it proves that my weight is a non-issue, in
this sense anyway, and didn't somehow
transform me into a lesser version of myself.

Keep your confidence in check. To continue from
where I left off on my last point, getting attention
from guys is great and all, but you really need to
work hard to keep your confidence firmly in
check, no matter what the scale says.

When you really love yourself and

love the way you look, it shows. It

radiates and draws people to you. 

There are girls who I see all the time that aren't

"thin" in the conventional sense, but they dress
to flatter, embrace their figures, and carry
themselves with infectious confidence. Even
when I was at my skinniest, I would look at these
girls and feel pangs of envy. When you really
love yourself and love the way you look, it
shows. It radiates and draws people to you.

Thoughts are real forces, but they are also
controllable. If you allow yourself to think that
you're fat and unattractive, this will become your
own personal reality, even if it's incongruous with
what the rest of the world thinks. I went from
being confident and self-assured to an insecure
mess. And over what? A few extra pounds?

That's just so silly it makes me cringe to even
write it out. Fine, you've put on some weight, but
that does not define who you are—you're still just
as beautiful, fun, smart, and intelligent as you
were before. Don't let a few extra pounds take
away from any of that.

3. Don't get discouraged by a bump in the road.
It has never been as difficult for me to lose
weight as it is right now. Maybe it has to do with
getting older, with not having enough time to
exercise, with winter-induced hibernation... who
knows? After about a week of putting in the
effort to lose weight and not seeing results, I
just gave up and retreated to a place of despair
and frustration. Why even bother working out if
it's not working? Why not just eat what I want?
Obviously this healthy eating thing isn't getting
me anywhere. Right?

I have since adjusted those misguided thoughts
and tell myself daily that yes, I have put on
weight. However it's only temporary, and it will
come off if I continue on with my healthy ways,
which I'm committed to not only for weight-loss,
but also because I really enjoy the benefits of
healthy living.

4. Don't lash out against yourself and beat
yourself up over it.
In truth, once you let go and stop thinking about
it so much, those pounds will just just fall away
(I've experienced this phenomenon before). Now,
not thinking about it doesn't mean you can sit on
the couch gorging on burgers and fries and just
wait for the weight to come off. Keep going with
your healthy lifestyle, forgive yourself for slipping
up here and there, and stop scrutinizing every
inch of yourself. Do this, and I promise you'll get
back to where you were. Stop talking about it.

When you constantly think about how much
weight you've gained, you will inevitably talk
about it. This is something I started doing for
reassurance—I wanted to hear "oh those pounds
will fly right off" or "you look great, I can't even
tell!"

You don't need reassurance from other people.
You know what you need to do, and you know
you look great right now, right? Constantly
thinking and talking about it will only frustrate
and discourage you. It will define you as that
poor girl who gained weight and can't get rid of
it, and other people will just be thankful they're
not in your shoes. And who wants that?

5. Enjoy the benefits.
My wardrobe has been virtually cut in half thanks
to my extra fluff. However, if there's a silver
lining, it's that I have been forced to become a
lot more creative with what I have. I've
discovered unworn pieces, I've become the
master of layering, and I've learned how to show
off my assets and hide my problem areas (mainly
the mid-section), without hiding behind huge
bulky layers. I also have way more curves,
especially in the boob department, which is
something I've never had the pleasure of
experiencing before.

It took me a long time to figure out how to feel
great even though I'd put on weight. Now I've
accepted it, and while it would be nice to fit
back into my old clothes again, like, tomorrow,
I'm OK with the fact that it might take some
time. Because I know I still look good, and more
importantly, I finally feel good about myself as
well.

This article was written by Sandra Fox, co-
founder and editorial director of BetarhealthBetarhealth.
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